Scenes

One year later....

2012-02-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

Achieved quite a lot of stuff!

~~NEEDS A BASS AMP URGENTLY!!!~~ Don't need liaoz, use computer to play bass.
Napalm Death Discography
Obscura Discography
Opeth Discography (Left with Still Life, Watershed!)
Immortal Discography
Between the Buried and Me Discography
Rudra Discography
Nevermore Discography
Impiety Discography
All local CDs I can get my hands on
Agile fanned-fret 8-string guitar
~~Behringer Midi Foot Controller so that I can gig with a laptop~~ BOUGHT!
MIDI Controller for composing and recording on the fly
Tour with the Queen (Norwegian Woods perhaps?)
More clothes, shoes, socks
~~Upgrade to another HTC phone~~ Fuck HTC, I bought a Sony.
~~Custom In-Ear Monitors (once again, good for gigging and for those long trips)~~ BOUGHT!
Upgrade my entire com, preferably with a 32 inch monitor
Surround sound system
160GB iPod
~~More slingbags~~ Baby bought be a beautiful Zing slingbag!
LASIK (damn I want this as soon as possible)
Lots of band tees
~~The tea making, cup filtering thingy (wtf issit called?)~~

Things To Get 2011

2011-01-05T14:15:00.003+08:00

NEEDS A BASS AMP URGENTLY!!!
Napalm Death Discography
Obscura Discography
Opeth Discography (Left with Still Life, Watershed!)
Immortal Discography
Between the Buried and Me Discography
Rudra Discography
Nevermore Discography
Impiety Discography
All local CDs I can get my hands on
Agile fanned-fret 8-string guitar
~~Behringer Midi Foot Controller so that I can gig with a laptop~~ BOUGHT!
MIDI Controller for composing and recording on the fly
Tour with the Queen (Norwegian Woods perhaps?)
More clothes, shoes, socks
Upgrade to another HTC phone
~~Custom In-Ear Monitors (once again, good for gigging and for those long trips)~~ BOUGHT!
Upgrade my entire com, preferably with a 32 inch monitor
Surround sound system
160GB iPod
More slingbags
LASIK (damn I want this as soon as possible)
Lots of band tees
The tea making, cup filtering thingy (wtf issit called?)

2010-11-20T21:46:00.000+08:00

I think guys have the benefit of going to NS, even though we bitch about it all the time. One important and stark reality is that if we had never been through it, will we have been able to take care of ourselves as well as we do now? Or is it really a matter of upbring and our environment that should help to breed our capabilities to survive in a strange environment?

I'm not trying to be overly critical but there comes a point in time we will be thrown out into the darkness to be leave to sink or swim. If we are not able to ever come out of our comfort zone and experience for ourselves first hand the adversities that life can possibly throw to us, how then can we survive if sudden seemingly unsurmountable obstacles get thrown in our way?

I think the key to all this is adaptability. If we are too set in a certain way, we close other paths that we can possibly take. We must be open to alternative views and other ways of dealing with life, we must be amenable to changes and take positive views from it. We might struggle initially but the final fruits of our labour will serve us for a lifetime.

2010-11-03T13:24:00.002+08:00

Theory requires few resources beyond the cerebral and is therefore ‘cheap’; simulation needs the hardware
and, despite plummeting prices, a computer system for tackling problems at the forefront of any field can still prove costly.

Attrition

2010-10-21T14:27:00.000+08:00

As we move through life, we find that some of our friends start getting left by the wayside. Some of them became marginalised by society: those who could not take it committed suicide, some developed mental illnesses and had to be admitted into IMH, some perhaps not so dire ones struggle to make ends meet. Through all these we always need to remind ourselves, what exactly is it we are living for? Happiness is not in physical objects, we need to convince ourselves of that. Precisely because we have failed to do so hence its consequences bear down upon us.

Time

2010-09-28T09:35:00.000+08:00

I think lots of people cannot quite grasp why I have a tendency to disappear off the radar once in a while. During school term, I have no time for anything else. I have a "B+ minimum" noose hanging over my neck now, in a sense that's the strongest "motivational" force I've ever had, compared to undergrad days.

With school taking up so much time, I want to have time for my gf, time for myself, inevitably that leaves time for little else. I feel so tired during weekends, the last thing on my mind is going out with friends. I prefer time alone with my gf, or time alone with my guitar. Because time is a finite resource.

2010-09-01T09:14:00.002+08:00

Some parts fear, some parts excitement, some parts worries, some parts anticipations. What will the future hold? And when is my money coming?

The Pathless Path to the Knowable Unknown

2010-08-27T09:32:00.000+08:00

2 years in Kindergarten, 1 year in Jing Shan Primary School, 5 years in Pasir Ris Primary School, 4 years in Anglican High School, 2 years in Jurong Junior College, 9 months in Officer Cadet School.

Now the one that trumps them all, 8 years in Nanyang Technological University!

2010-07-26T10:20:00.000+08:00

A sudden wave of melancholy swept over me for unknown reasons. Maybe it was this abominable cough plaguing me that manifested itself a few days ago for similarly unknown reasons. Maybe it was the trouble sleeping, that the past few days I simply could not get long hours of deep and refreshing sleep. All these invoked in me feelings I did not experience since the emo days of year 2000. It makes me feel like crying, no apparent reason, just to cry and feel myself crying.

2010-07-13T21:53:00.000+08:00

That's it, I have decided. This shall be my next target guitar. It has some truly mad awesome specs.

Agile Interceptor Pro 838

2010-07-06T15:03:00.000+08:00

Sibei GAS now. Custom earphones, thining of UE4 or Livewire Trips. Also GASing over a Rondo Agile Intrepid Pro Dual, plus zhng with Bareknuckle pups! Holy shit! Need $$$$!!!

2010-07-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

Its so crazy. In the two days since the return from the THOA 10th Anniversary Chalet, I have slept no less than 10 hours per day. An incredible tiredness just refused to recede, till today.

Chalet was incredible. 6 days of gaming mayhem, replete with lots of crab and a sizeable grouper catch, as well as a ton of durians and some sporting action. Definitely a chalet to remember for a lifetime. Good that the brothers have stayed together for so long.

Now its back to real life. Somehow being holed away in a place with no internet access, led to a kind of detachment that has not been felt ever since personal computing became the norm. What happens around the world no longer deluges my life every morning. There is no need to focus on what will happen throughout the week, just relax and chill everyday.

Over the next few weeks, more activities are coming. I want to complete my EP, down to the last song to compose and record. St. John's camping trip is in the works. Scholarship rehearsals and ceremony itself are due this coming weekend along with IPPT in the next. I lead an exhausting life without even trying. But I love it.

2010-06-07T13:53:00.003+08:00

Things to get when I have decent dough:

Opeth Discography (Left with Still Life, Deliverance, Damnation and Watershed!)
Immortal Discography
Drudkh Discography
Between the Buried and Me Discography
Rudra Discography
Nevermore Discography
Impiety Discography
Windir Discography
All local CDs I can get my hands on
An 8-string guitar
~~Behringer Midi Foot Controller so that I can gig with a laptop~~
MIDI Controller for composing and recording on the fly
Tour with the Queen (Norwegian Woods perhaps?)
More clothes, shoes, socks
Upgrade to another HTC phone
Custom In-Ear Monitors (once again, good for gigging and for those long trips)
Upgrade my entire com, preferably with a 32 inch monitor
Surround sound system
160GB iPod
More slingbags
LASIK (damn I want this as soon as possible)
Lots of band tees
The tea making, cup filtering thingy (wtf issit called?)

2010-05-19T09:26:00.000+08:00

Great start to my birthday! Had a great dessert at Gelare with the Queen, plus receiving a Perllini wallet and Opeth's Ghost Reveries, as well as a very sweet note from the girl! Why I say a great start is because this year's birthday is kind of extended haha. From yesterday, till Friday, where I will celebrate my birthday in Shanghai as well as being a grad trip. When I'm back, there are still some mroe celebrations, hence its super extended this year. Hoho, I'm a happy (albeit poor) man.

2010-05-16T13:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday marked another epic day with Her Royal Highness. Sure, the lack of horses meant sore feet for the both of us, but that only gives the stamp of authenticity to the epic-ness of the almost 3 hour tramping through mud and gravel at the MacRitchie reservoir.

The route was gently undulating, although some people might not agree it's gentle (Fools! Try the seven knolls of Brunei). Drone metal of the forests accompanied us, as did families of monkeys and humans. Haven't had such a march through muddy paths with my loved one before. Our footsteps in happy happenstance march together in cadence, crunching the stones underneath.

The treetop walk was barely interesting, but it was a good walking. Night time at Esplanade was even more wondrous with flames licking and a hot, unwindy night. Some trippy music and Starbucks with idle chatter marked the end of a day to be remembered.

2010-05-06T09:49:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I think I'm so short tempered with my family is because it has become a bad habit. How do I break this....?

2010-05-02T13:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a wonderful day, met the parents, had a meal. Thereafter caught some kungfu action, Mr. Ip Man. A little formulaic, not as strong a storyline as the first one was. But good action sequences nonetheless.

After that was some walking around searching for the elusive midi cable. Where the fuck is it sold in Singapore?! Talked a little at Starbucks. Baby mentioned that these three months, perhaps the worst thing was the fact that sometimes dating gets mundane. I think that is the funny thing about dating in Singapore. Sometimes I wonder where can we really go to. There are no adventurous cross state travels that we can enact, like in Europe or US. The attractions we have inevitably ends up with us paying lots of money. Even new attractions (think the Helix crap) are just plain overcrowded and lacks privacy. Even the lighthouse is constantly threatened by fishing.

But of course, I do believe that in a relationship, it is impossible to be exciting all the time. Committment is far more than being fun and happy. Then I thought further. We do have fun sometimes at gigs. We do enjoy meeting each other and just be in each other's company. If we ever relentlessly chased after excitement, the fact is that we will be sorely disappointed. I am happy just being mundane sometimes, for it certifies that my relationship is on a steady track.

2010-04-26T19:24:00.000+08:00

I note with great irony that it was a Christian who told me to watch Agora. It only served to increase my disgust with theistic beliefs. How much blood was shed in the name of something called God, how much knowledge was forgone in the pursuit of worshipping this thing.

Religion clouds our eyes and our mind, for when scientific truth is unable to coincide with what is written in any holy book, the scientist is labelled as a heathen. Books were written by humans, and compounding the issue, interpreted by humans. This contributes to an error-squared. To blindly follow a book, or follow the words of one person who claims to have great insight into a book, is pure foolishness. For his judgement is only as accurate as his knowledge and experience, which is to say, just as human as any of us.

Therefore, I am proud, not just to be an atheist, but also to be a man who does not reject all possiblities of science. I will not allow my learning to be constrained by culture, by tradition or by religion. Scientific truth is rigorous, and empirical. The same can hardly be said of religion.

2010-03-28T11:17:00.000+08:00

You know you have found someone right when the intellectual connection is there, that we can talk without inhibition, and open our mind to the knowledge in each other. It is like a flow, a turbulent cross stream that churns and mixes and eventually settles down into a smooth-flowing stream, drifting, in its laziness, towards calm and out to the greater Sea.

2010-03-25T08:48:00.002+08:00

We are always so excited to meet each other. It's like vines intertwining, never wanting to let go.

2010-03-22T18:18:00.001+08:00

It just makes my heart melt when she says "Hey, Dear"

Awwww.....

2010-03-09T19:25:00.000+08:00

I think this is the not the first time I am confronted with the fear and uncertainty of losing my dad. When I was young, it was a real fear, a genuine phobia of death, that the family will fall into hard times. Right now, I hope that I have grown up, that I can face it without fear. Right now, I feel sadness, a deep yawning chasm in my heart, knowing that my dad has suffered so much, but I may not have the chance to take care of him, as he had taken care of us.

This is the first time that I am conscious of someone close to me being on the brink. That the very next day, he might not be around. I am not morbid, I am being mentally ready. If my dad pulls through, it will still be hard on his other organs, living will be racked with pains and inconveniences. Why my dad has to suffer so much through life, I do not know. There is no answer for these kind of questions. The only comfort I hope my dad can take is that his children are all mature kids, ready to take care of themselves, with a bright future.

Maybe all close friends who read this will finally understand, why I am such a stickler for health. Dying is not the hard part, the suffering is. I wish that even with such genetic inclinations towards illness, by exercising rigorously and eating healthy, I can stave off any major illness at least till I'm really old. Ladies and gentlemen, the pain of illness is not worth going through. There is no greater gift than the gift of health each of you readers out there possess right now. Treasure it, and let no procrastination deter you from living healthy.

2010-03-06T22:28:00.005+08:00

Things to get when I have decent dough:

Opeth Discography
Immortal Discography
Drudkh Discography
Between the Buried and Me Discography
All local CDs I can get my hands on
An 8-string guitar
Behringer Midi Foot Controller so that I can gig with a laptop
MIDI Controller for composing and recording on the fly
Tour with the Queen (Norwegian Woods perhaps?)
More clothes, shoes, socks
Upgrade to another HTC phone
Custom In-Ear Monitors (once again, good for gigging and for those long trips)
Upgrade my entire com, preferably with a 32 inch monitor
Surround sound system
160GB iPod
More slingbags

Shall update when I can think of more.

Updates:

LASIK (damn I want this as soon as possible)
Lots of band tees
The tea making, cup filtering thingy (wtf issit called?)

2010-03-04T09:26:00.000+08:00

The symptoms of stress are showing again. Tiredness upon waking, irregular bowel movement, if it gets any worse I will develop sleeplessness. I feel like I'm grasping at straws, all the projects, assignments, tests. Are they meaningful now, is there a reason why I am still working so hard? What can I do to shake off this sense of foreboding? After two not-so-good interviews, I'm wondering whether I have failed myself, whether I'm going to ever be doing any good with my life.

2010-03-03T18:00:00.001+08:00

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?

Then he is not omnipotent.

Is he able, but not willing?

Then he is malevolent.

Is he both able and willing?

Then whence cometh evil?

Is he neither able nor willing?

Then why call him God?

2010-02-28T01:25:00.000+08:00

Even in the most perfect of relationships, one has to deal with expectations. And as we all know, expectation is a bitch. I admit I'm a very desire-driven person, I am always greedy for more.

I think the lesson here is two-fold: temper my expectations, and temper my desires. Whatever has been experienced with others, is no necessary implication that it would be desirable to be replicated with me. Even if it were proven desirable, it does not mean I hanker after it without due consideration.

It is of no surprise that sometimes my decisions are testosterone driven. Those hours in the gym surely hasn't gone to waste. Jokes aside, the beast is loves to rear its ugly head. Caging it is surely trouble in itself. Is there a solution for this?

Despite this incursion, the day has been pretty good, time with the Queen is time well spent, regardless. Headbanging together with my girlfriend together in the pit is surely, a dream come true. I love my heavy metal girl.

2010-02-23T21:18:00.001+08:00

How did such an incredible girlfriend land in my open arms, just like that? Life is full of mysteries.

2010-02-21T11:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a day of learning. And I do not say no to learning, for I love to learn. Indeed, learnt I have, and learn I shall do more. Without a doubt, some experiences can never be came by, if we do not let go of our restrictions and dogmas, and embrace the unknown. More importantly, there comes along people whom will strip you bare and immerse you in sensations heretofore unbeknownst. Ladies and Gentlemen, the message here is to try: try and learn, learn and appreciate, appreciate and love.

2010-02-18T12:24:00.001+08:00

I'm such an insecure person...

2010-02-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

I think I probably should not feel disappointed. I think I have no right to be, because what she said is true. Maybe the parents will make a big fuss. Maybe she wasn't keen in the first place, and I was just putting her in a difficult spot. Although I resent parental control, but I have to accept that its her family, not mine. I am not allowed to judge, since I do not want my own family to be judged.

She is so wonderful, and I do not want such petty emotions to get in the way. Relationships are compromises, not one-way streets.

2010-02-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

I want to hold you in my arms and fall asleep, wake up with u still beside, and I can look at u sleeping, and feel that love residing deep inside.

2010-02-16T18:33:00.000+08:00

I painfully feel the passage of time, where fun accelerates the glide of time like lubricant. So many things I should be doing but I think I am not doing. The sense of purpose is diminishing, as I keenly feel the nearing of this chapter's end. The long walk of along the road of institutional learning is forking, and a mystical haze shrouds the paths that diverge.

This seems to be compounded by a weird sense of loss whenever I'm sending the girl home. She just grows on me, becomes me. And I feel torn whenever she's away. Her tiny fingers are an addiction. Lovesickness has no cure, only the soothing salve of having her around me.

One-Paragrapher #1

2010-02-15T09:43:00.000+08:00

This is a thinly veiled parody of somebody's blog =P. Jokes aside, I had a wonderful Valentine's Day. Heart to heart talk are getting really rare in our kind of hectic lifestyles, where people in your lives could still be total strangers. Being able to share any secret with somebody is at once a release and bond; a release of past guilts, and yet building a strong emotional bond. King loves Queen.

And of course, the coup de grace of this parody is that a One-Paragrapher shall not have one paragraph only. Hahaha. =D

2010-02-13T00:23:00.001+08:00

2010-02-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

One more great day with the girl. The feeling of her soundly sleeping on my shoulders feels like an eternity of bliss, an eternity that of cos ended with the announcement that the next stop is Sengkang. Mr. MRT slow down please. Why can't public transport be fast when I want them to be, and slow when I NEED them to be. Irony.

2010-02-04T21:42:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow, all traffic shall part like the Red Sea, for the Nemesis cometh, all the way to Changi. Traffic shalt be so smooth that she will arrive within one hour. Yay! =D

2010-02-03T19:24:00.000+08:00

Me, my girl, and beautiful planes. Somebody pinch me, it must not be a dream. Soon it would be me, my girl, and metal gigs. Pinch me harder.

2010-01-31T01:02:00.000+08:00

Today was absolutely magical. Technically I nearly screwed up several times but the night under the lighthouse was just magical. Girl of my dreams in my arms, absolutely not a single soul around, just lying down chilling to a little Agalloch, a pinch of Immortal, and a generous dose of the sea's rhythmic beats. C'est la vie.

2010-01-29T22:14:00.000+08:00

Hyped. But please please please no rain in evening. Pretty please with extra black metal bleak snow frost on it.

2010-01-29T20:48:00.001+08:00

Is it so terribly inconceivable to comprehend God with one's senses? Why does he hide in a cloud of half-promises and unseen miracles? How can we believe in the faithful when we lack faith? What will happen to us who want to believe, but can not? What about those who neither want to nor can believe? Why can't I kill God in me? Why does He live on in me in a humiliating way - despite my wanting to evict Him from my heart? Why is He, despite all, a mocking reality I can't be rid of?

2010-01-28T17:48:00.000+08:00

Maybe we need a breather from life, sink a while into death, and witness the segregation of mind and body. Maybe then we can finally see ourselves as a whole, and determine where we shall hence and discover.

2010-01-27T21:58:00.002+08:00

Selling insurance after getting a degree is like taking off your pants to fart. Sure, it gets the job done but not very elegant now is it?

2010-01-26T21:47:00.000+08:00

Its incredible how some things are right in front of me and I've never noticed and failed to appreciate. The Sisters of Fate crossed our threads, and I hope it never unravels. Because you are perfect with your flaws, frailities and fallibility.

2010-01-25T19:54:00.001+08:00

Missing you already. Weekends come fast pl0x

2010-01-24T21:13:00.000+08:00

Aren't we looking for the same things, really? It makes me feel like there is a diamond glittering in front of me, but would it shatter upon my touch? Dare I dream that this will be symbiotic, like two dewdrops melding into one?

2010-01-24T02:57:00.000+08:00

The two-person thing sort of became a four-person thing haha. Twists of fate. But thats alright. More next week? =)

2010-01-23T00:34:00.000+08:00

Solid beginning to a perfect ending? But did it even begin? hrm.... one step at a time.

2010-01-22T10:52:00.002+08:00

Can I skip the boring day part and get straight to the night.

2010-01-21T19:23:00.001+08:00

Excited.

2010-01-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

Hrm, the 'yes' came really readily. Maybe its nothing, just a night spent with a friend. Too early to say isn't it.

2010-01-17T22:39:00.000+08:00

What does it all mean really... Some times there are more words, sometimes there are none at all. I think the amount of time men spend guessing the actions of women is equivalent to a lifetime of regrets....

2010-01-17T11:10:00.000+08:00

Such a heavy metal wkend. Metal buddies + beer + G-string + LingNemesis talking rots = solid saturday night/ sunday morning spent.

2010-01-15T22:40:00.001+08:00

I know, I know. I'm a boring piece of shit.

2010-01-13T21:05:00.000+08:00

That girl who will walk the museums with me, talk to me all day about playing the piano, tell me the tinkling of the high keys are like the twinkling of a thousand brilliant lights. The girl who will laugh when I trip over my own feet and give me a hug to let me know she nearly cried. The girl who will swing her hair in wildest jest, and in pure innocent delight, cast sun beams through my perpetual night. Everyday I seek, yet everyday is just another day...

2010-01-11T22:00:00.001+08:00

Game face tomorrow.

2010-01-10T22:25:00.002+08:00

Guess I shan't berate myself over that mistake. It's over and done with. We'll see what happens next week.

2010-01-10T11:01:00.000+08:00

It's a crazy mad party yesterday. When good friends gather, even after perhaps a year of not seeing each other, the old sense of familiarity comes back once again the moment we are together. The alcohol helps a lot too hahaha. *heart whiskey* Time for me to get some Jack Daniels soon.

Pink Floyd - Bike

2010-01-07T16:48:00.002+08:00

Something you should know about Bike Lyrics

Title: Pink Floyd - Bike lyrics

Artist: Pink Floyd Lyrics

Visitors: 58739 visitors have hited Bike Lyrics since May 27, 2008.

I've got a bike
You can ride it if you like
It's got a basket
A bell that rings
And things to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could
But I borrowed it

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

I've got a cloak
It's a bit of a joke
There's a tear up the front
It's red and black
I've had it for months
If you think it could look good
Then I guess it should

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

I know a mouse
And he hasn't got a house
I don't know why
I call him Gerald
He's getting rather old
But he's a good mouse

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

I've got a clan of gingerbread men
Here a man
There a man
Lots of gingerbread men
Take a couple if you wish
They're on the dish

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world
I'll give you anything
Everything if you want things

I know a room full of musical tunes
Some rhyme
Some ching
Most of them are clockwork
Let's go into the other room and make them work

2010-01-07T10:55:00.000+08:00

Best sem ever, i actually touched 4.5 for the first time in the past 3.5 years. Although now that I think back, funny why I've never worked as hard during the first few years. Could I truly blame the situation back then? Or did I not take as much ownership over my studies as I have now?

It practically seems like I have found the ultimate exam-beating formula: study with the largest study group you can find, and milk everyone's knowledge for what its worth. And it also certifies something that I have known since A Levels. If you are able to explain something so simply to someone else, that the concept becomes immediately clear to him/her, then you know you have got it yourself.

2010-01-05T21:18:00.002+08:00

Please don't let there be a sudden twist of fate and I either end up with a mess on my hands or, just a bad, with nothing.

2010-01-04T19:08:00.001+08:00

Who will hold these rough hands of mine....

2010-01-03T00:17:00.001+08:00

I get this sense of hopeless impossiblity

2010-01-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

It's funny how we can talk more in one day than what we will ever talk in a whole lifetime. Even to the people who are the closest and dearest to us. So if you ever see me online, consider saying Hi.

2010-01-01T13:46:00.002+08:00

Love this article

How to Talk to Women

2010-01-01T11:15:00.001+08:00

Can't help feeling melancholy over the birth of the new year

2009 Great Roundup

2009-12-30T15:06:00.000+08:00

Before the Year ends, especially since I doubt I have time tomorrow, I'll be rounding up Year 2009. From my eyes.

The year began innocuously enough. Industrial attachment at SIMTech, hopefully an event that has helped me ascertain my future endeavors. This was a time of incredible happiness. Maybe because I was there in the capacity of a student. I made a great many friends, especially close ones like Jas. I had a tremendous kick out of regular Foosball and badminton sessions with the folks. Add this up with regular gym training, and even more badminton on weekends with the JC folks. All this meant I was at my leanest and meanest, both intellectually and physically.

This year was a year of records. I broke my deadlift and squat records, simply the strongest I have ever been. My deadlift breached the 100kg barrier, right now the aim is to slowly improve from that. Regrettably, exams degraded my performance, but its alright, more records shall be set next year, and I am well on my way.

Over the June holidays, I've also successfully, perhaps not very but still, released my very first single. Whether there will be more to come remains to be seen. But I'm very proud of that, and definitely cements my love for music.

Events in the second half of the year took a funny twist. Fell in love, fell out of love, again and again. Girls who are looking for emotional crutches, girls who did not mind hurting others. Of course, these are views in my own capacity. But it was how I felt looking back upon it now.

Funny how it all began. Maybe it was internet's fault, maybe it was my fault for being who I am, maybe its their fault for being who they are. But upon first contact, I seriously did think she would have been perfect. Another music lover, open-minded to all sorts of issues, perhaps a little neurotic with a bad past. I looked past all that, a person's past is no indictment for her future. I spent, however short, a great few weeks with her. And eventually nothing turned out. Mayhaps things were moving too fast, she couldn't entirely move away from the old flame and went back..... well I guess I was useful for something. As much as it sounds like it, I'm not bitter. I did have fun and enjoyed those days in the void deck feeding the cats.

Shortly thereafter, another girl appeared, I have to thank ol' Mr Internet for that once again. A girl from China, student in SIM, tall, pretty, a body to die for. Of course all good things comes with some sort of caveat. She never was really capable of staying attached to a single guy. She had been honest from the start, courteously informing me she could not be with me, that she is already dating another guy. And thus came Crutch Number Two, when things did not turn out well with the other guy, she came back to me. And I jumped in again. "Ha-ha-ha", you say. Well, that's true, its laughable. We all love things that are bad for us.

Eventually I left it all behind, began anew. My "brothers" introduced me to this really dynamic person, a girl full of vigor and life, and I'm smitten. Quite interestingly, it all started from a train of thought one of them had while we were having a late-night "talk about cock" session in a KL hotel. Although now I don't really see where it could be headed, but I guess I really should get back to the basics. How to woo a girl without the use of technology, perhaps by being really sincere, being face-to-face, being bare and honest. I shall not hide behind this meaningless facade called the Internet, well of course I can't but that's beside the point.

Talking about KL, it was one of the best trips overseas I ever had in my life. Go-karting, paintballs, straight nights of talking rots, a little booze and lots of great food. This is the Boys' Night Out that one can merely envision in the movies, and I'm glad I got to live it. Salute to my brothers for planning and realising. Best days of my life.

The year ended in a great roundup today. Results were magnificent, my best semester ever, not counting IA of course. This is one time I truly ever felt the true essence of the adage of reaping what I sow. So much agony, so many times I have lost sight of the plot. But I stood right back up, and steeled my nerves, toughened my hide. We fought the good fight in Can A, in Woodlands Library; a crusade against the tide of exams. And things turned out to be more than alright. Right now I'm hearing some have not done so well. It's alright, the end is nigh, we shall survive. Next year shall be the year of firsts, and we shall look upon it with bright eyes and great hope.

Thus lived me through the Year 2009, a year of ups and downs, highs and lows, but eventually ending somewhere along the middle road. I am thankful for all the good friends I've ever had, thankful for all the good times we ever shared.

2009-12-29T20:11:00.000+08:00

I've always thought that I probably shdnt ever be so optimistic, as much as others holds much hope. I look at reality, the ground im stepping on, and i think, things could go wrong. So far maybe nothing is wrong, but that doesnt mean its right either. I hope this chugs along like a locomotive, eventually reaching where it is directed to go.

2009-12-27T21:35:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how it is the little things that someone does that can make me really happy, but of course they have no idea do they? Hrm, and neither do they care I suppose? After all they aren't trying to please me.

2009-12-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

2009-12-26T16:29:00.001+08:00

The only thing I do best is sit around and feel sorry for myself.

2009-12-25T14:38:00.002+08:00

2009-12-25T14:34:00.002+08:00

What can I say to invoke responses. What are your switches, how do I flick them on.

2009-12-23T19:00:00.003+08:00

2009-12-23T17:43:00.001+08:00

Think positive thoughts

2009-12-22T21:31:00.000+08:00

It is good to know that I have friends who are willing to stick their neck out for me, taking good care of my future happiness. Even if nothing comes of it, I'll go away from this episode knowing that they are truly brothers, my brothers. The game has begun, and the opening move was the advancement of a pawn. Now its time to bide the return...

2009-12-17T19:31:00.002+08:00

After watching Le Fabuleux Destin D'Amelie Poulain, it makes me think, think of where the strange girl is, who is also looking for a strange guy like me...

2009-12-16T23:10:00.001+08:00

Reindeers and cockroaches...

2009-12-15T13:31:00.001+08:00

Reindeer didn't fly by today... No one for company in the afternoon

2009-12-13T21:58:00.003+08:00

oops too fast. stop.

2009-12-13T09:30:00.000+08:00

Good days are ahead. The events are past, and I shall forget. So many fresh faces out there, it is irrelevant to be hung up on one, even more so, one who is neither appreciative nor reciprocating.

2009-12-11T19:38:00.001+08:00

Am I supposed to point my finger at you and laugh now? Am I evil? Perhaps.

2009-12-11T14:00:00.002+08:00

Things that are inconvenient for you to say, you just maintain silence.... You were the one who said no games, and I played no games. But all along, you were moving for the checkmate.

2009-12-10T20:57:00.001+08:00

I wish I could mean something more to you. What exactly am I to you?

2009-12-10T09:00:00.000+08:00

You ask whether I am not talking to you anymore. How do I talk to someone who gives one word answers, doesn't even reply sometimes, not even to say you're busy, and someone who don't really answer my messages. You just suddenly changed into somebody whom I no longer know. Does being busy have anything to do with it? You aren't even making an effort, then you come and tell me to stop being a baby boy. It's so hard to talk to you.

2009-12-08T00:25:00.001+08:00

Let me clear the slate, and begin writing my fairy tale once again. "Once upon a time....."

2009-12-06T22:41:00.001+08:00

wth another fren broke up. what an "excellent" year for relationships

2009-12-06T21:34:00.002+08:00

Have you gone away to lean on somebody else? I knew it would happen, although it saddens me, but yes, I have had enough. You have already moved on, moved away. It is my turn now.

2009-12-05T18:18:00.000+08:00

It saddens me that another one of my friend broke up. A long relationship too. But as I mentioned to another friend before, we are now in a period of consolidation in our lives. The choice of whether to go the final mile is a decision that is better to be made sooner than later. It is better to have loved and lost, than to find that 20 years down the road, you cannot stand each other anymore, and you file for divorce, and your children gets a broken family. Maybe as guys we are not sensitive enough to problems that might arise, but please, do tell us. Start talking soon, rather than wait till the gap is too large to bridge, and what might have been a fairy tale ends up as a cut scene on the editing floor, only to be remembered by you and me.

2009-12-05T14:53:00.002+08:00

Will the right one come if we waited. Or will we be waiting in vain all our lives.

2009-12-05T13:05:00.001+08:00

I wish you could tell me everything....

2009-12-04T21:59:00.002+08:00

well i gotta say, Curse of the Black Pearl has a seriously corny ending, reeking of Hollywood uncreativity. But having said that Johnny Depp is seriously very good. Love his movies.

2009-12-03T12:53:00.001+08:00

It's so hard to concentrate when all I can think of is you.

2009-12-02T19:36:00.001+08:00

I fear, truly I fear. For fear of loss is a perpetual fear.

2009-12-01T21:07:00.000+08:00

This emptiness, deep in my guts, swallowing me from the inside out. Engulfing me, i reach out for the light. Will you burn brighter, or will you slowly fade, leaving me to drown?

2009-11-30T20:19:00.000+08:00

Let me elaborate on my philosophy: Trying is not achieving. However, one cannot achieve without trying. With my stubbornness, I would say fuck it, I'll take that 50-50. Trying might result in nothing, but nothing definitely comes without trying. It might give me a broken nose, a bloody forehead, or a bleeding heart, but I can't live my life without knowing for certain that I have tried my best.

2009-11-29T22:25:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I don't talk much either. Think I might have been tired, or maybe its just the same old problem of me really being unable to make conversation with girls very well.

2009-11-29T17:28:00.002+08:00

I really do wish I could read your mind

2009-11-29T01:29:00.001+08:00

Because your hands feels so good in mine....

2009-11-27T22:04:00.001+08:00

Maybe the things I give away too freely will become under appreciated.

2009-11-27T18:55:00.001+08:00

Makes me sad when I think about the fact that you might just walk away from me...